intro to girls ministry. part 1

last night i had some of the girls in our youth group over to spend the night at my house. it's something i try to do once a year, but it's been a while and was long overdue.

long overdue because we had stuff we needed to talk about. by ourselves. without the other half of our group.

if you've been to girls night, then you know it's never 'just' a sleepover. i always have an agenda. the agenda?

talking. and lots of it.

if there's one thing i've learned about girls since i started in youth ministry 4 years ago, it's this:

macaroni & cheese and chocolate is all you need.

as soon as you walk in the door, there is no need to push conversation along. it just happens. and it happens in the best way. girls who need/want to tell each other about what's going on in their lives. in a safe environment. one with support. one with common problems. one with caring ears.

we talked a lot last night. we got into our issues. we held each other accountable. we listened.

i approach girls ministry knowing that girls need different things.

what my girls need is someone to intently listen to them. they don't need me to give advice or input to everything they have to say. they need me to listen to them and to acknowledge that i understand what they're talking about. about how they feel.

does this mean that i don't share Biblical truths with them when we're discussing life? absolutely not. they know first and foremost that i will always back up what i say with proof from God's word. but they also know that they can literally tell me ANYTHING and that, while i may react in a shocking way (because of how naive i still am), i will also talk through whatever it is with a willing heart.

the most dangerous thing i believe you can do in youth/girls ministry is to alienate and push youth away by being judgmental. is it necessary to teach them right from wrong? absolutely. but they have to be in your presence if you're going to teach them. and they have to trust you.

establish your relationship with them first. make sure they know Jesus is the center of your existence and that is exactly what they should be striving for as well. and then make sure they know just how reliable you are as a person.

this means the following:

- you walk your talk
- you're transparent
- you speak honesty and truth to them always. you can't expect them to be honest with you if you don't offer it first
- you love them unconditionally. and we know that love sometimes can be tough
- you give them sound Biblical advice. but you don't expect them to listen right away. (they're teenagers. did YOU listen to advice at that age? it may take some years)

it seems like girls ministry is pretty easy. it's not. establishing relationships and maintaining them is hard work. but it's rewarding work. because you're doing the Lord's work. and His work is pretty big.


part 2... coming soon.